The Art of Grocery Shopping

Tonight, you all are receiving my extra-special technique on shopping. I know you didn’t ask for it, but that’s what will make it awesome. The best things can often be unexpected. When it comes to shopping, specifically groceries–I can’t just go to the store. No, it’s a thorough process that deserves the same love you will show when you sit down to eat the meal you’ve prepared.

Step 1: Brainstorming

What do you want to consume that you didn’t just eat the week before? Some weeks, I’m mature enough to have a list already started on my phone or on the fridge. Many weeks, I am not. I think about the meals that 1) won’t take long to make or 2) make me feel like I just owned Gordon Ramsay in the kitchen.

Step 2: The first (and then final) draft

Oh yeah. I’m taking us back to English 101. The first draft is simple; write down everything you want to buy. Doesn’t matter if it’s possible or not. Just get the cravings on paper (or screen, if you’re feeling fancy). The final draft is perfection. Organize your list by category (i.e. produce, frozen foods, beauty products, etc.) as you ignore what you can’t afford or actually make. This is extra important for the next step.

Step 3: Get to the grocery store and plan your method of attack.

You should have your shopping list on hand at this time. If not, go ahead and do so. No worries, my instructions will still be here waiting for you. Okay. You back? Excellent. With the speed of a cheetah, assess which applicable aisles are in the back of the store. Get everything from there first.

You need to shop in a way that lets you finish right in front of the cash register. Not only will it make your life easier, you will have everyone thinking you are that awesome by chance. Seriously. The stares of envy will come because you’re that much closer to getting home than everyone else around you.

Do your victory dance real quick. You’ve earned it.

Step 4: Go home

No, really. It’s that simple. You’ve bought your groceries at this point. My job’s done. Do whatever you want between now and consuming the food. You don’t get those tips from me just yet. You’re welcome.


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